I've never really understood anxiety Aside from the feeling that people have their eyes on me Every time I step outside Impropriety of my desires And tryna make it to what Imma be I just thought that little shock in my gut That made a tidal wave in my brain was propping me up And doing its best to school me for not being tough That shit is normal, if just a bit informal Myriad excuses for sudden fear And feeling useless The truth is I buried tears That where the proof is Carrying stress from years ago At the same time, recognizing that other people are near me though So I never blame the innocent but I feed on The pain, thinking it's keeping me sane...while I bleed on Every footstep of progress, and digress To comfort zones that are slowly being demolished Make it okay Make it all good, or make it go away Disappear in broad daylight Be invisible until it gets easy But if it never does, then whatever cuz Walk away right now How the hell am I supposed to make THIS pipe down You can't avoid what's always right in front of your eyes This is a letter to that exceptional human Smothered in layers of doubt, disappointment, and confusion Somewhere along the way I thought I was protecting you But all I did was make it so nobody could connect with you Now I hear you scream and pretend it ain't me Defense tactics for making room to complain The truth is that I'm stuck in the past With faith in the future Presently trapped behind glass Afraid to get hurt when it eventually all breaks Thinking the solution is a fist wrapped in CAUTION tape Often make the mistake of false focus to avoid pain I know that my days are not hopeless Making forward motion to brand myself Put down the Eminem so I can Stan myself Cuz if I really want to learn self devotion And share it with folks Then I'm going until I crash into the ocean No matter the outcome, I'll be my own master Thundering success or beautiful disaster Either way, it's the best When I make my own mess And clean it up until I find the blessing